I am very glad to see many readers were interested in ZSJ’s SOUL review, so here is his third post – which is about tackling the obstacles life throws at you.
So grateful that ZSJ can share positive messages that we can definitely use in these uncertain times.
Book Title: 兄弟dei，一切都会变好的！by 琪琪弗 Bro, everything will get better!
等过了这个坎，一切都会变好的，超好，巨好，无敌好！
After crossing this hurdle, everything will be better, really good, enormously good, unbeatably good!
一次很偶然的机会，我翻阅到了这本书。当我读完序的时候，我毅然决然地想把这本书推荐给大家。我在这本书里，看到了一位年轻姑娘坚韧的生命力和对生活的向往。最重要的是，她能够以乐观的态度，去面对命运给予她的苦难。
I happened to chance upon this book. After I was finished with it, I am determined to recommend this to everyone. I saw in this book, a young woman’s tenacity and yearning for life. Most importantly, she can face life’s hardships with a positive attitude.
认命👉 顺命
发表一点儿自己的拙见，作者在这里提到了“认命”。“认”这个字在我们看来，有认栽、认怂的意思，听上去好像有点儿气馁的感觉。但是当我看完这本书，我却感受不到丝毫沮丧。所以我更觉得，我们的人生应该是“顺命”。
In my humble opinion, the author mentions “accept fate” here. “Accept” as a word, has an air of resignation about it. However after I finished reading this book, I did not feel a shred of despair, so I feel that, it should be more of “going with the flow of life”.
为什么要用“顺”这个字呢？就是不论命运给予我们什么，给予我们多大的快乐，或是多沉重的痛苦，让我们经历多少的磨难，我们都能够坦然的接受它、顺从它，因为这就是我们的命。
Why use this word ‘flow’? That means no matter what fate gives us, incredible bliss, or the heaviest misery and pain, letting us experience hardship, that we can calmly accept it, submit to it, because this is our life.
在我们顺从命运的同时，我们又不断的学习，不断的努力，让自己变得更好，以抵抗命运带给我们的任何打击，并且掌握提升幸福感的能力。
And while we submit to fate, we keep on learning, working hard, to improve upon ourselves, in order to withstand any blows that fate has dealt us, and mastering the ability to boost our ability to feel happiness.
我记得篮球明星艾弗森说过一句话，把每一场球赛当作他人生中最后一场球赛去打。就像我们把余生都当作最后一天去活一样。
I remember the words of basketball star Allen Iverson:
“I play every game like it’s my last game. All that matters is that you go out there and play every game as if it was your last.“
Just like how we live the rest of our days, like its our last.
别失去勇气 Don’t lose courage
我一直认为勇气是人很重要的品质。勇气代表了开始，勇气代表了面对，勇气可以是挺身而出，可以是披荆斩棘，也可以助你乘风破浪。勇气是万里长城第一步，勇气是恐惧的敌人，勇气是面对暴风骤雨也能咬牙坚持的动力。
I have always felt that courage is a very important quality of humanity. Courage represents commencing , confronting, coming forward. It can be cutting out a path out of thorny growth or let one ride the waves. Courage is the taking the first step of the Great Wall, its the enemy of fear, the strength and grit to face a raging storm.
或许一万次失败才能换来一次成功。
Maybe ten thousand failure can exchange one success.
就像琪琪弗写道，“真正的勇敢，不是无知无畏，而是经历过失败，明知苦痛难当，明知前路险阻，仍然义无反顾，勇往直前。”
Its like how the author has written: ” True bravery, is not ignorant fearlessness, but having experienced failure, knowing the grueling pain and suffering, knowing the path ahead has dangerous obstacles, yet still forging ahead bravely without hesitation. “
看完这本书，我想到了我的兄弟大熊🐻
Finishing this book, I thought of my bro ‘Big Bear’.
人如其名，大熊是一个1米85左右的东北爷们儿，这爷们儿长相却很秀气。单眼皮儿，高鼻梁，潇洒英俊、风流倜傥，很受女孩子的喜欢。平时他爱穿着宽大的牛仔裤、工装裤——由于臀部和大腿肌肉过于发达，所以穿不进细长笔直、修身的裤子。
As his name suggests, Big Bear is a 1.85m-ish guy from Dongbei ( Northeast China ). However this guy has delicate features. Single eyelids, high nose bridge, dashing and handsome, suave, immensely popular with the ladies. He usually loves to wear loose jeans, overalls – because his buttocks and thighs are overly developed, so he can’t fit into skinny fit pants.
他是那种只要看到朋友手上有东⻄，就会主动帮别人拿；一旦朋友与他人发生冲突，他一定会第一个冲上去替朋友出头。可能和他不熟悉的人，会觉得他凶、严肃。但他永远对朋友都是笑嘻嘻的。
He is the kind of friend who will take your load from you without being asked; if any friend has a conflict with others, he will be the first one there. People unfamiliar with him may think he is fierce or stern, but he is always grinning before friends.
我们是常年一起打篮球的伙伴，由于他的篮球技术过硬，我们是驰骋球场的内外线绝佳组合。可是到了饭桌上开始喝酒唠嗑，不知道为啥到最后都要拼个你死我活，他那种不服输的精神碰上不认怂的我，只能用一个词解决，那就是“死磕”。
We are basketball buddies who play often. With his excellent basketball skills, we rule the court together . But once we get to the dining table, we become fiercely competitive over food and drink. His unyielding spirit clashes with my stubborn streak, resulting in one word ‘deadlock’.
我记得他的肩膀有习惯性脱臼，经常在球场上，打着打着球，突然扶着肩膀和我们说，“等等，我肩膀脱臼了。”然后面无表情的把脱臼的肩膀接上，“好了！接着干！”
I remember that he has frequent shoulder dislocation. Often on the court, while playing, he will hold his shoulder and call out ” Hang on, my shoulder has dislocated.” And then he will pop it right back without any expression, and go ” Alright, lets carry on!”
有一次我们几个好兄弟一起去海边木屋烧烤，餐后组织了撕名牌大赛。结果撕到一半，这哥们儿的小拇指断了。他说，“我去去就回。”一个小时后，大熊带着他那缠着绷带的小拇指回来，陪我们继续玩耍。
On time a few good buddies went for a seaside BBQ, and we played a name-tag tearing game after the meal. Halfway through, our friend’s little finger broke. He said ” I will be right back.” An hour later, he returned with his bandaged finger, and continued the game.
因为工作原因不能经常见面，在之后的一次聚会上，他告诉我因为吃药不能喝酒了，我以为是推脱之词，问什么小毛小病能影响喝酒？他说：“三坚，我得了重症肌无力”。
Due to work we can’t meet up often, we had a gathering where he told me he can no longer drink due to medication. I thought it was just an evasion, and asked what can affect drinking? He replied, ” Sanjian, I have Myasthenia Gravis ( MG ). “
重症肌无力，我相信很多人不了解这个病症，类似于霍金的肌萎缩侧索硬化。而且对于特别爱运动的年轻人来说，得病的几率极小极小。
Myasthenia Gravis, I believe not many people know about this illness, its similar to ALS. Its occurrence in active youths is very low.
“怎么会得这样的病？” 他说，有一次去北京出差参加年会，和朋友不停聚会、喝酒、上台表演，而他又很照顾大家情绪，绝不扫兴，导致极度劳累。回家后一直低烧，甚至持续了将近两个月，期间出现呼吸困难、视力模糊、眼睛斜视的状况，下几十阶楼梯都需要走半个小时……
“How did you get an illness like this?” He said, one time he went to Beijing for an annual meeting, he had nonstop gatherings with friends, drinks, stage performances, and out of consideration for everyone, he did not want to be a spoilsport, leading to extreme fatigue. He returned home with a consistent low fever which lasted for nearly two months, with breathing difficulties, blurred vision, strabismus, and even needing half an hour to get down a few flights of stairs..
因为这种病例特别的少，一开始医院也查不出病因。为此大熊跑遍了深圳的医院，却一直按照中风治疗。第三次去针灸时，扎的满脸是针。老中医却觉得不对劲，说道：“你这应该不是中风，可能是重症肌无力，赶紧去大医院做全面检查。”
Due to few cases of this nature, the hospital was unable to diagnose him at first. And so Big Bear went to all the hospitals in Shen Zhen, but only got treatment for mild stroke. The third time at his acupuncture, he had needles all over his face. The old TCM doctor felt something was amiss, and told him: ” This might not be stroke, could be MG, you should get a full body checkup at the big hospital.”
待他确诊后，医院建议他立刻住院，但只有重症监护室才有床位。大熊站在重症监护室门口，看到一些重症病人的景象。内心的压抑促使他逃离那里，他内心认为自己要是住进重症监护室，日子也就不长了。（没有任何看不起重症监护室病人的意思）
After the diagnosis, the hospital recommended immediate hospitalization, but there was only available beds in the ICU. Big Bear stood outside the ICU, and saw the patients in there. He felt an urge to escape from there, because he felt that if he were to enter the ICU, he won’t have much time left. ( Not in any way looking down on ICU patients here )
治疗重症肌无力有三种方法。第一种是通过大量激素治疗，但是会有副作用，比如短时间发胖，脱发，⻣质疏松……因为生病对他心理已经造成很大的打击，他更不想让自己看上去像个病人。健康的外形对他来说是一种精神上的鼓舞。
There are 3 kinds of treatment for MG. The first kind is via infusions but might have side effects such as sudden weight gain, hair loss… due to suffering a big blow mentally due to this illness, he did not want to look ill. For him, looking healthy helped boost his morale.
第二种就是换血，但是效果只能保持一个月的时间。
The second kind is Plasmapheresis which can only have a short term effect, like a month.
最后大熊选择了最为保守的中⻄药配合治疗方法，喝药就变成了生活的一部分，即使不吃饭也要吃药。
In the end, Big Bear chose the most conservative treatment which was a combination of both East and West medicines, and taking medication became a part of his life. Even if he doesn’t eat, he has to eat his meds.
除此之外，自己还坚持运动，每天在家附近的公园跑步。十米一个的路灯是他的目标，从几米到几百米再到三公里。他也知道自己跑不了很远，但是每跑过一次路灯，他就觉得自己成功了一次。一次次的坚持让他坚信，只要活着就一定可以更好。
In addition to this, he still persisted in exercising. He ran at the park near his home daily. The street lamps 10m apart became his targets, which he increased from a few meters to a few hundred meters, to 3 km. He knows he can’t run very far, but with every passing of a street lamp he feels like he succeeded once. With every persistent moment, affirming his belief, that as long as he stays alive, things will get better.
跑到三公里的时候，他觉得自己的状态在恢复，说话也有力量了。
By the time he can run 3km, he felt that his condition is improving, and he can speak with more energy.
经历了这次大病，他的性格也变得逐渐平和。看开了很多，在每个被病症折磨的深夜，他看着天花板，一直回想前半生——不爱惜自己的身体、过于放纵，浪费了很多的光阴…… 我记忆深刻的一句话，“活出生命的厚度比人生的长度更有意义。为这个社会做出贡献，活得有价值，就算有一天突然走了也不后悔。” 后来他从事了教育行业，看到每个孩子的进步与成功都会让他倍感欣慰。
After experiencing this illness, his personality also became milder. He took things easier. On the restless nights filled with pain, he stared at his ceiling and recalled how he has lived his life, all the wasted time due to over-indulgence and not taking better care of his body… I remember this line vividly, ” To live life to the utmost is more meaningful than living a long life. To contribute to society and having a worthwhile life, so that I will have no regrets even if I am suddenly gone one day. ”
生病的期间，女朋友也和自己分手了。那时的他，变得很自卑，不敢接触女生，更不敢和女生表白。因为他觉得无法给一个女生未来，不能对她负责。就在这时他遇到了一个天使。
While he was ill, his girlfriend broke up with him. He started to feel inferior, and distanced himself from girls, much less like anyone new. Since he felt that he is unable to give anyone a future, and cannot be responsible for her. At this time, he met an angel.
一次偶然的朋友圈点赞，大熊和自己的初恋女友重新联络上了。经过网上长时间的联系，见面后，他发现虽然过了十多年，但是大家都没有变化。
He unexpectedly reconnected with his first love with a chance ‘like’ on a social platform. After a lengthy period chatting online, they met again in person, and he found out that despite over 10 years had passed, neither of them had changed.
有一天，女生送给了大熊一个礼物，是一个邮箱，但是并没有提供密码，女生让他猜。大熊第一次就输对了——“他们在一起的第一天”。虽然分别十多年，但是女生每年都会在这个邮箱上写几封信，诉说一些生活的日常和对他的思念。看完之后大熊就哭了，世界上还有这样记挂你，把你放在心上十年的人。
One day, the girl gave Big Bear a present, a mailbox, and asked him to guess the code. He got it right on the first try – ‘its the first day they got together’. Even though they were apart for more than ten years, the girl would write a few letters for the mailbox, telling him some daily stuff and how she missed him. After reading them, Big Bear cried, that he had someone in the world who cared and kept him in her heart for over ten years.
大熊向女生坦白了病情，我的呼吸随时都可能停止，今天也许就是最后一天。我害怕你离我而去。我不想面对这一天，也不想面对这样的你。
Big Bear came clean to her regarding his illness, that his breathing could stop at any time, and today might be the last. He is afraid that she will leave him, and was afraid to face such a day or to face her leaving him.
但是她说，即便不是你，即便我和一个我不爱的人在一起，他遇到了这种情况，我都不会离开他，更别说是你了。
But she replied, even if its not you, even if I with someone I do not love, and this happened to him, I won’t leave him, let alone you.
我听完这个故事后，难以用言语形容心中的感触，这就是我心中爱情的模样啊。“无论他贫困或者富有，健康或者疾病，直至死亡，都不离不弃……”
After I heard this story, it was very difficult to describe in words what emotions I felt. This is my heart’s image towards love ” For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, even facing death, I won’t abandon you…”
当大熊邀请我参加婚礼的时候，我特意推开所有事，去⻅证他们的爱情。虽然我被安排在整个大厅最⻆落的位置，没关系，我把最美好的祝愿都送给了他们。
When Big Bear invited me to his wedding, I specially set apart some time, in order to witness their love. Even though I was arranged at the far corner of the hall, it was fine, I sent my very best wishes to them.
从那以后，我们依旧在一起聚会，我们端起了酒杯，他端起了水杯。作为兄弟，坚决不会再让他沾一滴酒，就算他想喝，我们也会坚决制止他。前两天他还给我发了他女儿刚出生的照片，这哥们儿短短几年就儿女双全了，着实让人羡慕。
After that, we still have gatherings, we lift our wine glasses, and he lifts a glass of water. As a brother, we will never let him drink even one drop of alcohol again, even if he wants to. Two days ago he had sent me photos of his newborn baby girl, this buddy now has both a boy and a girl in a short span of a few years, really makes one envious.
我们也建立了更多的沟通，会互相激励、打气。在未来任何时候，只要大熊需要帮忙，我定会挺身而出。所以到这里，我想和他说一句话，“兄弟，一切都会变好的！” 也同样把最美好的祝福，送给我们最最坚强喜欢张无忌的琪琪弗！
We also contact more often, encouraging and cheering for each other. In future no matter when Big Bear needs my help, I will definitely be there for him. Thus, here I would like to tell him ” Bro, everything will get better!” I also want to send best wishes to our strongest QiQiFu ( the writer of the book ) who likes Zhang Wu Ji ( a Jin Yong character ).
我开始思考好朋友之间，最重要的是什么？我觉得是“仁义”。
I start to think hard about what is the most important thing between good friends. I think it is
“benevolence and righteousness”.
首先对待万事万物都有一颗仁慈的心。其次无论何时你遭受了任何困难，我都会挺你，这是“义”！ 而不是像某个人，在你好的时候，一口一口的叫着你“老师”，在你“落难”的时候，别说见面了，连一条关心和慰问的短信都没有。
First off we should treat everything with a kind heart. Secondly, no matter when you meet with any difficulty, I will be there to support you, this is ‘righteousness’. Unlike someone, when you are well and fine, call you “Teacher” “Teacher”, but when you are having a hard time, does not even send even a sms of concern, let alone meet up.
当我们觉得命运“不公”的时候，我们也会在这个过程中成长，看清很多人和事，明白真心相待和虚情假意。还是那句话，大家一起坚强！
When we feel that life is “unjust”, we can also grow up during this time, see things and people clearly for what they are, understand what is sincerity and hypocrisy.
Still that line, everyone be strong!
你以为这样就结束了吗？最后再给大家分享一个我最近很喜欢的词“不期而遇”——没有期待就不会失望，没有期待带来的都会是惊喜。我们往往在没有期待的时候，遇到真正喜欢的事物，这是来自生活对你温柔的安抚。我的不期而遇
Did you think its over like this? Lastly sharing this phrase that I like very much recently ” unexpected meeting ” – without expectations, there are no disappointments, and without expectations everything that comes along will be a pleasant surprise. We are often living without expectations, and when we meet something we really like, this is life’s gentle comfort to us. This is my “unexpected meeting” :
Zhang Zhehan 