在每个月的第一天，常常能在朋友圈看到“某月你好”。大家希望这个月可以一直开心、依旧保持可爱，又或者希望这个月的努力付出有回报…… 总之，我们对未来怀有善意的期许。
八月又一次如期而至，热浪在这个盛夏满怀“热情”地向我们袭来。似乎和前年的八月一样，没有任何差别，可心底却多了一些不同。在心灵的最深处似乎有个黑洞，那是我母亲内心的缺口——那个黑洞会让我妈坠入到无措、焦虑、悲伤的星球。
On the first day of every month, we often see “Hello x month” in wechat moments. Everyone hopes that in this month they can continue to be happy, cute, or hope that this month’s hard work pays off… In short, we have good expectations for the future.
August is here again as scheduled, and the heat wave hits us with “enthusiasm” in this midsummer. It seems to be the same as August as the year before last, without much differences, but there are now some differences in my heart. There seemed to be a black hole in the deepest part of my heart, that is the hole in my mother’s heart – a black hole that would make my mother fall into a planet of loss, anxiety, and sadness.
我也知道有一群人会因为某个即将到来的日子而心难舒、意难平，难以调节好自己的情绪。似乎大家都在渴望，如同电影里那般：倏尔便是多年以后……
I also know that there is a group of people who will feel uncomfortable and uneasy because of an upcoming day, and it is difficult to regulate their emotions. It seems that everyone is longing for, just like a time skip in the movies: Many years later…
永远并不远，就像每一天的日出日落都是永远里的一天，该来的总会来，谁也无法抗拒。写到这里，我呆望着电脑屏幕，久久无法落笔，怒气一阵阵涌上心头，甚至想一拳砸向电脑屏幕。明明是我经历了这一切，为什么还要我表现的宽容、豁达、友爱？为什么我不能肆意倾泻自己的情绪？
是的，我不可以，我不再是从前的我，我可以比原来的我做得更好。
Forever is not far away, just as the daily sunrise and sunset is a day in eternity, what is meant to arrive will always arrive, and no one can defy it. As I am writing this, I stared at the computer screen, unable to continue for a long while. Anger welled up in my heart, and I even felt like punching the computer screen. I am the one who is going through all this, why should I be expected to show tolerance, open-mindedness, and friendliness? Why can’t I release my emotions freely?
Yes, I can’t. I’m not who I used to be, I can do better than I used to be.
这一年一直支持着我的小伙伴们请放心，我很好。最近跟朋友们健身、打拳、做普拉提……这些方式可以让我暂时忘却周遭的烦恼，在家人朋友的陪伴下感受到，连接感和踏实感。甚至两三年间从未触碰的篮球运动也在好友的鼓舞陪伴下，重新回到我的掌间，有了久违的酣畅淋漓的感觉。没错，我在努力地自我充电。
回到家中，妈妈有了我的陪伴，状态也好了很多，带着妈妈一块运动可以看见她的身体更加轻盈，皱纹也渐渐舒展，以后我还可以做的更好。
For my little companions who have been supporting me this past year, please be rest assured, I am well. Recently, I have been doing workouts with friends, boxing, doing Pilates… These methods can make me temporarily forget the troubles around me, feel a sense of connection and security in the company of family and friends. In the company of my friends and with their encouragement, I even resumed playing basketball, which I had not done in the past two or three years. Getting the ball back in my palms again, I felt a long-lost delighted feeling. That’s right, I’m working hard to recharge myself.
After I got home, my mother’s state also improved alot in my company. Taking my mother to exercise together, I can see that her body is lighter and her wrinkles are gradually stretched out. I can do even better in the future.
还有那些暗中“支持”我的“人”，我知道你们希望看见我被击倒，然后在你们轻蔑的嘲笑中，躺在地上放弃挣扎，不再坚强、坚信、坚持。但我要谢谢你们成功地激起了男人那“该死的求胜欲”，我要是真倒下了似乎都不太尊重你们长久的“支持”。就像那句歌里唱的，“冷漠的人谢谢你们曾经看轻我，让我不低头更坚强的活”。**
And there are also those “people” who surreptitiously “support” me, I know you want to see me knocked down, lie on the ground and give up struggling under your contemptuous ridicule , no longer strong, losing faith and persistence. But I want to thank you for your success in igniting the “damn desire to win” in men. If I really fell down, it would seem to be lacking in respect for your long-term “support”. Just like the song lyrics, “Indifferent people thank you for once underestimating me, letting me live a stronger life without bowing my head.”
** Lyrics seem to be from 信乐团’s [ 海 阔 天 空 ] ** corrected
永远有多远？永远并不远，永远在我们的心间。心向永恒，永远就是我们脚下的每一天。没有坚实的、踏实的走好当下每一步，我们如何到达我们所说的永远？
好好生活，皆如所愿，摒弃掉一些无谓的争吵计较，多关注一些生活中的美好瞬间，跟着我一起运动到老——老了也要做一个健健康康，开开心心的老爷爷、老奶奶。
How far off is forever? Never far away, forever is always in our hearts. Heart towards eternity, eternity is every single day beneath our feet. Without taking each step firmly and steadily now, how can we reach what we call forever?
Live a good life, according to your hopes and dreams. Abandon some unnecessary quarrels and cares, pay more attention to some beautiful moments in life. Follow me in exercising until you grow old – – even when you are old, you must be healthy and happy Grandpas and Grannies.
完美也并不美。身边的家人、伙伴、工作人员也有自身的缺点和盲区。没有人是完美的，总用挑剔的眼光看待这个世界，你一定不会快乐。试着学会包容欣赏一个人的不完美，就会在你的心里点起一盏明灯。这明灯会照亮自己，也会照亮我。
我说过要做你们的黑暗骑士，这话我会记到永远。需要我的时候我就在，即使某天不需要我，我也会默默地关注着、祝福着你们。
同行的路途不孤单，可能偶尔想下车，停留欣赏另一片风景，没关系列车永远都在。
Perfection is not beautiful. Family members, companions, and staff around me also have their own shortcomings and blind spots. No one is perfect, you will definitely not be happy if you always look at the world with a critical eye. Trying to learn to embrace and appreciate a person’s imperfections will light a beacon in your heart. This light will illuminate yourself, and it will illuminate me.
I said I would be your Dark knight, and I will remember that forever. I will be there when you need me, and even if you don’t need me one day, I will silently watch and wish you all well.
Being on a journey together is not lonesome. You may occasionally want to get off the train and stop to enjoy another scenery. It doesn’t matter, the train will always be there.
无论是新朋友、老朋友，我都会微笑着对你们说一声: 你好吗？欢迎光临……
Be it a new friend or an old friend, I will smile and say to you all: How are you? Welcome……
Thank you, Zhang Zhehan
Thank you for being you.
《海阔天空》 信乐团
我曾怀疑我 走在沙漠中
I once wondered if I was walking in the desert
从不结果 无论种什么梦
Nothing comes to fruition, No matter what dreams I plant
才张开翅膀 风却变沉默
I just opened my wings, and the wind dies down
习惯伤痛能不能 算收获
If I get used to pain and hurt, does that count as a reward
庆幸的是我 一直没回头
Fortunately I never turned back
终于发现 真的是有绿洲
I finally found out there really is an oasis
每把汗流了 生命变的厚重
Every drop of sweat laid into life’s foundations
走出沮丧才看见 新宇宙
Walk out of depression and see a new universe
海阔天空 在勇敢以后
As boundless as the sea and sky after being brave
要拿执着 将命运的锁打破
Persevering to break the lock of Fate
冷漠的人
Indifferent people
谢谢你们曾经看轻我
Thank you for underestimating me
让我不低头 更精彩的活
So that I did not bow my head and lived more splendidly
凌晨的窗口 失眠整夜以后
The window before dawn after a sleepless night
看着黎明 从云里抬起了头
Looking at the first light lift its head from the clouds
日落是沉潜 日出是成熟
Every sundown is resting , sunrise is mellow
只要是光一定会 灿烂的
As long as its light it will be brilliant
海阔天空 在勇敢以后
As boundless as the sea and sky after being brave
要拿执着 将命运的锁打破
Persevering to break the lock of Fate
冷漠的人
Indifferent people
谢谢你们曾经看轻我
Thank you for underestimating me
让我不低头 更精彩的活
So that I did not bow my head and lived more splendidly
海阔天空 狂风暴雨以后
As boundless as the sea and sky after a big storm
转过头 对旧心酸一笑而过
I turn my head to laugh off old heartbreaks
最懂我的人
The people who know me best
谢谢一路默默的陪我
Thank you for accompanying me silently all this way
让我拥有好故事可以说
Let me have a good story to tell
看未来 一步步来了
See the future, approaching step by step
Zhang Zhehan 